The WOG, The Cry, The Victory
I've spared you the ugly cry picture. You are definitely getting the "after product" of the fight. Why? Because I want to identify with, reassure, and highlight to you that the social media and website pictures you see on my or anyone else's page does not come without the tenacity to get "there." That moment is just a clip of a whole host of seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, and possibly decades. I want you to know that I fought HARD this morning to get my butt out there and WOG (walk/jog). No matter whether I chose to go or stay, those dark gray storm clouds were going to continue looming overhead.... so I went. My 5'2'' self, with very short legs I might add, are not considered fit by any means. After over a decade, nearly two, of auto immune struggles, there is little lung or muscle capacity or longevity in me. Yet. (I'll add for optimism sake.) But MAN does it feel good to push myself to break a sweat when I can! Although I may not be considered fit, I'm a fighter. I may not be tracked as consistent in the area of fitness, but I sure am when it comes to giving every ounce of me to those around me daily.
In the giving of myself consistently to others, I have found that I need to prioritize small allocations of time and effort toward my own needs in order to fuel myself for continued giving.
This may look different but is very targeted to the needs and weaknesses I feel at that time. Some examples include:
Stand still for 3 minutes outside and take breaths of fresh air in and out slowly, uninterrupted.
Make sure I take a long, hot shower after 2-3 days of allowing everyone else their time to soak in the tub and use the hot water for their own relaxation and hygiene needs.
Give myself grace and permission to go "hunt for higher end treasure," with tags still attached, at the local thrift shop for an hour on military discount days. (Paying $3.50 for an item I love with a tag on it for $88 is always a win!)
Today it was a WOG with worship music in my ears. I was drenched in sweat when I returned from my 3,000 steps and I let out some wails and cried with pride and in pain on my front steps as I thanked God for the ability to do so. It was worth every gasp for air I took.... because for me, it wasn't about looking at all the people around me who clearly could go so much farther and faster (even the 9 year old next door can) - but today was for me. This WOG was for me so that I could burn some stress and love, smile, and serve others better with my body, my mood, and moments. So I shout praises to God and give Him all the glory for this milestone.
So Go God go! For whatever area in your life needs to be pushed to a slightly uncomfortable level, grow in the baby steps. Be prayerful in what areas need to grow or be stretched so you can be on mission for Him in every area of your life. The baby steps lead to big distances, it is just a matter of keeping your posture toward the One who is able and who loves you. They may in fact lead to an ugly cry, but the celebratory moments typically do. Enjoy the release, and maybe rock some waterproof mascara.
#uglycry @crystalcnvrstns_stj (Instagram)